December 2011
30 posts
12/29/11 - read a book in a massage parlor and it had a happy ending
12/28/11 - marijuana is a gateway drug to smoking more marijuana
12/27/11 - one-night stands are hard when you work early mornings prefer mid-day stands
12/26/11 - found out my grandmas secret ingredient was actually cheese wiz :(
12/25/11 - socks, slippers and an electric nose hair trimmer I am an old man
12/24/11 - that awkward moment when someones christmas sweater wasn’t worn for laughs
12/23/11 - for the holidays I’d rather give than get but I still like to get
12/22/11 - if you claim to be an untrained swimmer, you’re not really a swimmer
12/21/11 - birds are prejudice against humans; fly away when I walk by them
12/20/11 - guns to preserve peace is like fucking to preserve ones virginity
12/19/11 - did North Koreans hear about Kim Jong-Il’s death on the internet?
12/18/11 - animal cruelty to let your pets listen to sarah mclachlan
12/17/11 - furniture romance chairs always get the most ass everyone loves wood
12/16/11 - christopher hitchens voice for reason, science & common fucking sense
12/14/11 - DVD’s should be dog-friendly where no doorbells get rung in the film
12/15/11 - ‘iraq war over’ headlines make me assume I’m reading the onion
12/13/11 - All Conor’s of the world should get together and have a ConorCon
12/12/11 - I think Waldo and Carmen Sandiego are having an affair
12/11/11 - buying bananas isn’t healthy if they just rot in the pantry
12/10/11 - gift shopping for men when all else fails, buy something star wars related
12/9/11 - instead of writing haikus for jonathans book I’m writing this one
12/8/11 - when touching, seeing hearing, smelling & tasting it starts to make sense
12/7/11 - it is the job of primary physicians to recommend doctors
12/6/11 - I heard the Blu-Ray of Spinal Tap goes up to 1180
12/5/11 - asian fusion means american food drenched in teriyaki sauce
2 tags
12/4/11 - and you walk away smiling; knowing that you just had your last first date
12/3/11 - I think nurses are the same as doctors; they just have to say “I think …”
12/2/11 - if he’s too young to be an asshole then can I call him a butthole
12/1/11 - sugar dosed horror a nerd eats a box of nerds candybalism