January 2011
31 posts
1/30/11 - can’t autocorrect stupidity, unless its typed: stupiditu
1/29/11 - like a pokemon the elusive emo has evolved to hipster
1/28/11 - mogul sounds really pretentious coming from the mouth of a mogul
1/27/11 - nail clippers are weird toenails should only be cut with pair of scissors
1/26/11 - safest thing you can do in 2012 is stay near john cusak
1/25/11 - posting comments and youtube links on facebook walls is the new street art
1/24/11 - gifford opened up her eyes; now some senators need to open theirs
1/23/11 - just got evicted by my grandma; someone needs to move to brooklyn
1/22/11 - I don’t understand why they would call it spooning; spoons don’t get boners
1/21/11 - don’t care for sports teams just wear their shirts when I like logo and colors
1/20/11 - the most important aspect of a visual is the audio
1/19/11 - i bet osama is hiding out in some book right next to waldo
1/18/11 - feel more pathetic when you actually choose to watch juwanna mann
1/17/11 - feel pathetic when netflix recommends that you watch juwanna mann
1/16/11 - babies at the mall run directly into things like kamikazes
1/15/11 - chicken noodle soup best medicine you can buy over the counter
1/14/11 - suburban whispers cosmopolitan echoes the sounds where we sleep
1/13/11 - a stenographer must be able to send the best text messages
1/12/11 - pleasuring a girl with drumsticks could result in vagina splinters
1/11/11 - witty shirts are like slutty clothes, wanting people to look at your chest
1/10/11 - vineyards would have to re-brand themselves if there was a country named wine
1/9/11 - people find it so shocking that babies were born on 9/11
1/8/11 - burn the suits and ties collapse all the cubicles work revolution
1/7/11 - exit the bar when the DJ gives a shout out to the high schoolers
1/6/11 - got a shovel for christmas which is bullshit, I asked for a blowtorch
1/5/11 - the thing I am most proud of is that I never smoked a cigarette
1/4/11 - do eskimo kids make snow houses when they have snow days off from school?
1/3/11 - why do women love an overabundance of pillows on the bed?
1/2/11 - home depots biggest customer is actually karate dojos
1/1/11 - most resolutions made on new years are broken within the hour
12/31/10 - there’s no one true love too many variables to a human heart